yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
