Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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