my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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