found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
