I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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