my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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