The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
