It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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