i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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