Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
