I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I cut my penus on the lid.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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