i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
