Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
