the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
