somebody snuck up and got me drunk
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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