When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
