So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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