ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
