you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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