Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
