Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
