She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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