My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
