we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
