haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
