I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
