My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
