I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
