When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
