she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
