mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
