i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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