me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
