Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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(917): View more from New York City

No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.

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(360): View more from Washington

Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.

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(949): View more from California

So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.

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(702): View more from Nevada

He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.

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