my mouth tastes like poor choices
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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