i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
