hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
