The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
