I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize