I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
