I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Im part way to drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
