We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize