i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
