he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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