A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
