Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize