Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
