Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
