no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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