my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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