Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
