I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
