theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize