I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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