so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
