3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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