I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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