Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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