What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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