He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I party with great urgency now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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