is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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