i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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