If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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