Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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